Suddenly,
unexpectedly,
five months and one week in

you decide you are ready.

I can’t wait to see you.
I have dreamed of this moment since I was exiled from your life
fantasised our reunion
kept my expectations in check
I know this has to be slow, I know I know I know,
you are not coming back to me yet.
This is just a check-in we
pre-arranged because we will have missed each other so very terribly.

Delay after delay
I walked the dog, made food I couldn’t eat,
walked the dog, cleaned the house, pounded the rowing machine, walked the dog again.
I changed my sheets
even though they were already clean.
Washed your favourite dildo
and went braless under a new shirt.

After five months one week and a million hours
I can’t keep the smile from my face as you arrive at my door.

You hug me like a machine trying to crush me
for painful minutes
you stiffly allow me to kiss you
and then you inform me that you have been fucking her
this entire time
and the whole town knows.