My story

Not long ago, I was on track to become a medical herbalist – my dream career. I was two years in, a good student and doing great on the surface, yet underneath I had become anxious and depressed. An old neck injury worsened, and during the worst months I lived with debilitating chronic pain and muscular tension. My breath all but vanished – I was compulsively holding it, as though I was afraid to release the rigid barriers I was building in my body. It was a haunting echo of my university years decades earlier – the time when I had begun to accumulate shame, trauma and pain in my body. I eventually realised that though I may be good at academic work, my body said “no”. No “pushing through” this time. And the body, I believe, knows best (just ask every other animal on this planet).

Besides, life had other plans. On top of the chronic pain and depression, a series of events including the loss of my partner and soulmate, the unexpected arrival of a spirited young dog, relocating to a new town, then to a new country… in short, my life was turned upside down.

Breathwork made me stronger.

It’s safe to say I am used to navigating change. Throughout these transitions, I leaned hard (and am still leaning hard) on my breathwork practice, my rock in the stream. Working consistently with my breath and body, getting to know my diaphragm, spending time in somatic awareness, I have found deep reserves of strength, resilience, creativity and grace. I learned to surrender to the chaos, to partner with change and listen to my intuition, rather than seeking to grasp and control. And I found that I could actually enjoy the experience of living through big change, and be present for the full spectrum of feelings that accompany grief, loss, fear, and being with so many unknowns.